Christmas

Tried out a classic french recipe today: Steak au Poivres et Pommes Darphin - Peppered Steak with Potatoes. A relatively simple dish to prepare, but one packed with loads of goodness. The key ingredient here, is the peppercorn itself!

On another note, a very Blessed Christmas to all. We give because we first received the greatest gift from above - the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ.

As i ponder on my blessings i've experienced over the past year, i cannot help but feel grateful and very blessed.

Below

Serving behind the scenes - it's not what i want; it's what i need.

Camp is coming.

Return

I'm back from Cambodia. Due to the sensitivity of the work that we did there, i am limited with regards to the content i can post and share here.

Nonetheless, i can definitely say that a little smile or an act, such as an old lady holding my arm and thanking me for helping them, was good enough to push me toward the end, braving the grueling hours and the punishing heat. Such smiles are worth it, and there were many occasions whereby the fruits of our labour were observed.

Enriching will not even be a word that comes close to describing the experience there. There's so much to it, but whenever i try to articulate it in words, i fail. Perhaps time will give me room to think and phrase it properly in words. Look forward to my sharing in the near future at the 11.30 service.

Cambodia

Been doing some final preparations for my trip to Cambodia tomorrow. To be absolutely honest, i'm stoked for the trip. i found it quite odd how our team leader kept assuring the "newcomers" how the first few days will not be at the Villages in the event they were afraid of the living conditions there - quite the contrary, it's what i'm looking forward to the most. 

i'll try my best to keep updating this blog as the days pass, but i reckon it's likely that i will not have access to WiFi while i'm there. Keeping my fingers crossed. For now, i'm off to an early night! 

May the Good Lord grant the team safety & protection, good health, and love & patience for the people.

Conclusion

Yesterday marked the conclusion of my two week attachment at NUH. What better way to conclude than to witness three new surgeries and gain more exposure to the job. The first one was a biopsy; the second was a cranioplasty - technology these days allow for prosthetic skulls to be inserted; and the third was a spine fracture fix (the nerve was affected so neurosurgery had to take over orthopedics, which was pretty weird cause it seemed as if the surgery was unrelated to the nerve at all, but good for knowledge.) Very interesting stuff.

So i said my parting words to the doctors i've been shadowing and they've all given me their best wishes and said their respective farewells. It's touching to see how they've been willing open up to even someone like me - just a nobody who's interested in medicine.
You're more than welcome to join us, any day.
They go beyond accommodating. i remain, ever so grateful.

With this attachment done, i can now focus on what's ahead of me: i have to start packing for my trip to Cambodia this coming Monday and study the medications i'd be handling while i'm there. There's so much administrative matters to settle within a day that i'm getting worried that something important will slip my mind and it'll be too late...

Better get cracking.

Almost Done

i think the effect of the lack of sleep over the past two weeks is starting to take its toll on me. Yesterday's two spinal tumour cases, on top of having only three hours o sleep, had me standing from 8 in the morning all the way till 7 PM. The life of a doctor, they all say. Mother was looking at me (possibly noting the increased weariness in my eyes) and saying how tough it must be experiencing how it's like being a doctor. However, it feels to me like something worth spending so much energy for. i've been more tired, without a doubt, but that's just probably cause i've had five full days of play and rest the moment i ended my IB examinations - i've not even done anything close to what the doctors have to do, i merely shadow.

While we have had several problematic encounters with the families of patients, i can acknowledge why sometimes these people act the way they do (which does not, however, give them the right to behave in such a manner). Apart from these people, we've also had family members who have been extremely understanding, which is something to give thanks for. One thing i've learnt especially pertinent to medicine, and other faculties related to it, is that you've got to be able to remain calm and composed no matter what kind of people you encounter (there has been such a diversity). i truly respect all doctors, pharmacists, nurses and hospital staff who have weathered the heat and the storms.

There is this one particular doctor i have much praise for. Not only does he spend so much time getting to know his patients better, he encountered this rather unreasonable man during the clinic session earlier this Tuesday and in my opinion, handled it extremely well. Moreover, he is ever so patient with his patients, and family members of the patients alike, as well as to me, a nobody who's incessantly asking (hopefully not stupid and redundant, as i try my best not to make them out to be) questions.

As i've reached close to the end of my hospital attachment at NUH, i can truly say that the experience has left me more aware. i wouldn't go to the extreme to say that i've had zero knowledge prior to my hospital visit and this attachment has enlightened me tremendously, as it would be rather ludicrous. But i can definitely claim that i've gained a significant amount of experience in the medical field and learnt several new things along the way. Life in itself is all about learning, isn't it?

And here i remain, more than a little grateful; continually seeking to learn and experience new things.

The Next Day

And it's the next day.

It was a pretty quiet night in contrast with the previous day: the doctor on call the night before was so busy he only slept two hours. Other than an emergency case last night, which involved the management of a large aneurysm located in the patient's internal carotid artery, there were hardly any other complications, save for one or two patients.

While i'd love to experience how a busy night on call feels like, i'm thankful that the patients got a comfortable rest at least, without any major complications.

*edit*

There were some problems last night. But the MO decided to let me sleep anyhow (though i was already awake at 4.30). However, spent some good time in the morning contemplating and reading those really expensive textbooks - good for knowledge.

Call

A patient passed away this morning. Cause of death: encephalitis, or in laymen terms, the inflammation of the brain perhaps by an infection. Witnessing how the team had to break the news to the family was not a pretty sight.

Posting this early using my phone today because i'll be following the doctor on call tonight and staying overnight at the hospital. With the recent Sembawang shipyard oilrig tip that left 90 injured i'd have expected it to be a busy week. Sure enough, 30 of them were admitted here to NUH, but surprisingly none of them are related to Neurosurgery.

It's an interesting thing to be in the clinics. It was meaningful today: had to fork out my mother tongue that has been rusting at the back of my head but thankfully, managed to interact with many of the patients with a little help every now and then. There is a wide range of patients you see here and i'd elaborate a little more in my later posts. For now, let me just express again how grateful i am for this entire opportunity to be here. Truly God just opening windows of opportunities for me to just learn, learn and learn. And that's what i'm here to do, nothing more.

Tenderness

We went down to the A&E to talk to the family of one of the inpatients today. We were explaining the benefits and the risks of the surgery, of which the registrar thought was necessary to preserve the patient's life, when his wife started to well up in tears. Despite being a relatively straightforward surgery, the operation entailed several risks of complications, and that was enough to cause a concern.

i can admit that the tenderness of the entire situation got me a little emotional, but i managed to hold back my emotions pretty well. It reminded me of what father said some time back: Doctors have to be emotionally unattached. Not true, i believe. Emotionally strong, yes, but definitely not unattached to the point where you're numb to the core.

Perhaps that's the problem some doctors face - they've experienced death as common as rain, and then subsequently grow out of their emotions. Sometimes they care too much about diagnosing and treating the patient than caring about the patients themselves (i'm not saying this about the team i'm under though - they're one of the most caring group of doctors i've ever met).

More heart than brains (although that in itself is Scientifically incorrect).

Living Humbly

Had a conversation with one of my closest friends, who also happens to be the oldest friend i have (i knew him since i was 7), and it reminded me of Dr. Tan Lai Yong's sharing a couple of months back.

It is a curriculum for students in Singapore to fulfill the requirements of the CIP, or in laymen terms, Community Involvement Programme. It is through the CIP that students are exposed to and made aware of the more needy people in Singapore, and also gives students a chance to "give back and contribute to society". Many people i've observed believe that they've sort of fulfilled their moral obligations to the less fortunate in their society through the four hours spent cutting vegetables or singing songs at an old folks home, which is sad thing really, but not what i intend to expound on today.

The main topic pertains to Dr. Tan's sharing: About short-term trips to third world countries and the likes of them. Anglo-Chinese School (Independent) provides a wonderful opportunity for its IB students to take part in a Window of the World programme to such countries, and many of us encounter the poor - the really poor - and how they live. We are forced to think; forced to reflect, and many jump to a similar conclusion that goes along the lines of: It is touching to see how contented and happy they are despite having so little. Unfortunately, and i say this on the account of Dr. Tan, that this is not true. What we see are the peoples' forceful acts to maintain a generous hospitality to strangers from foreign places, which is engraved in their culture. Truth be told, they are suffering - through hardships; through tears; through emotional turmoil. It is just invisible to us. Why is this so? It is simply due to the fact that the one night spent in the village, or the one week spent in these countries, is just not enough to truly know how these villagers' lives are.

And this brings me to my post-IB plans for next year. i really want to learn about how these villagers live - not just to read about them, but to actually live like them, while trying my best to help make their lives more comfortable in whatever little way i can contribute. So, i'm set on going to China for two months months next year (Praise God for late enlistment), just to assist several doctors during their interactions with the patients in the village, and to learn, to really really learn, how and what it is like to live humbly. i'm not going to make a claim saying it'll be easy for me, but i'm more than willing to try.

i can confidently bet it'll be a good and an extremely meaningful experience for me, anyhow.

Family

And so (as observed from the evidence above) i'm in Malaysia, at my father's golf resort, for a family gathering. Aunt Khim thought it'll be a pretty good idea for the family to meet together at my dad's resort just to get some family time together. If it weren't for family, i wouldn't be here. i've got to admit, it's awfully nice to see everyone again.